Into the Blu

Meet the Spartans

Posted on 15. Jul, 2008 by Bill Geiger in 1.85:1, 1080p, BD-Java Enhanced, Comedy, DTS-HD Lossless Master Audio 5.1 (English), Dolby Digital 1.0 (Spanish), Dolby Digital 2.0 (French), Fox, Reviews

Movies about parodies and spoofs seem to be a dime a dozen. Really, for me it all started back with Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon. It then went onto the likes of Airplane and The Naked Gun. Of course, within the past 8 years, the onslaught of parodies has flooded the movie market. This time around it is Meet the Spartans, a take off of the hit movie, 300.
Meet the Spartans is one parody should have never been made. This movie spoofs 300, for the most part, but also includes a bunch of other TV shows and movies. Sean Maguire is Leonidas, the King of the Spartans. In his training to becoming King, he has to go through a rigorous array of obstacles. One of them is fighting a dancing, swearing penguin (Happy Feet/Farce of The Penguins.) Another is being tortured by having his testicles beaten (Casino Royale) and then eaten by a dog. Mind you, his testicles are covered in dog food. No folks the comedy doesn’t stop there.

You also get to experience the electricity that is Carmen Electra who plays Queen Margo, the wife of Leonidas. Queen Margo is the Spartan slut. She strips for everyone and sleeps with everyone. There is nothing but comedy gold here ladies and gentleman. The laughs continue as we are shown how the Spartans greet one another. The woman give high fives to one another, the men give each other open mouth kisses. Captain (Kevin Sorbo) and Leonidas both show us how it is done. Thanks!

The really funny part, and please not the sarcasm, about the movie is that instead of 300 Spartans fighting the Persians, there are only 13. They will fight thousands of Persians, many of whom are CGI’d, as we are shown on the Persians Blue Screen.

Meet the Spartans really tries to get every single popular TV show, celebrity news story and popular movie in this 1 hour and 7 minute epic. You will be treated to several celebrities being kicked into the Pit of Death, such as the cast of American idol & Brittney Spears.

The theme to Meet the Spartans can be summed up as such. It is very heavy on the gay theme, feces on the face and testicle play. That is it. Really, I am not kidding. Throw in some really unfunny fight scenes and that is the movie.

Video

The 1.85:1 transfer is pretty plain. Obviously shot on a soundstage, the scenery is all light brown in color, except for the fake sky, which is pretty bright. The image is clean of dirt and artifacts. I didn’t notice any softness or grain either. Nothing ever will pop out at you. It really is just a standard image with nothing to talk about.

I don’t think it matters if you have the Blu-ray or the regular DVD, the image won’t be any different.

Audio

Really, the best part of the movie for me was the audio on the disc. Fox gives you the 5.1 DTS HD Master Audio and it was really pretty good. Surrounds are used throughout the movie and dialogue is heard perfectly. The bass is used throughout the film and doesn’t stop until the end of the credits. Honestly, this movie is so bad that it doesn’t deserve the sound it received.

French and Spanish Dolby Digital is also available. Subtitles included are English and Spanish.

Special Features

Audio Commentary with Cast and Crew

Prepare for Thrusting Featurette
• Hosted by Kevin Sorbo, we are taken into the training that it took to be a Spartan in Meet the Spartans. Find out the different types of homoerotic exercises used in the training.

Tour the set with Ike Barinholtz Featurette
• One of the actors who had a couple parts in the movie goes around and finds out that everyone on the set hates him and thinks he is a stalker.

Gag Reel
• A completely unfunny look at things that went wrong on the set. The worst set of bloopers I have ever watched.

Know Your Spartans Pop Culture Trivia Game
• I played the game and sucked at it. I didn’t care. You are asked questions about things that happened in the movie.

Celebrity Kickoff Game
• At all costs, skip this feature. You sit through 4 minutes of talking, where the instructions are given. It is obvious the creator of this stupid game tried to be funny, and failed. The kicking off of the celebrities into the pit of death is almost Atari 2600.

Meet the Spartans: The Music
• Here you can watch all of the scenes where the Spartans sing or dance.

Trailers
• View two different Meet the Spartans trailers.

There may be other special features, as it states on the back of the case, but I couldn’t watch them all. There really is a limit as to how much one person can take.

Final Thoughts

I know I bashed the movie in my review, but I will admit I did laugh at a few things. Those things mainly took place during the first twenty minutes of the film. Mind you, that is about 1/3 of the film. I turned the movie off as the credits began. For all I know, it continue for another 10 minutes given it official running time of 87 minutes.

This movie is not worth watching and afterwards you might actually feel dumber for having watched it. The really bad news to come out of this movie is the fact that the writer of the film was given a go for a new movie to be released next year, Disaster Movie. Talk about an oxymoron.