There have been several cast members from Saturday Night Live that have gone on to bigger and better things…or at least have tried.  Eddie Murphy and the late Chris Farley are two examples of SNL stars that hit it big after they left the show.  Amy Poehler has had modest success as far as films go, and Rachel Dratch somewhat less.  In Spring Breakdown, the two pair up along with Parker Posey for a comedy about women who are leading mundane lives, trying to relive their past through spring break.

Film 

What ist thou foul stench?  Oh, that’s stink left behind from this movie.  That, my friends, is what we call crop-dusting.  It leaves a subtle yet noticeable scent as it moves along.  The last time an hour and 23 minutes took this long to pass, I was going through training when I worked at a bank, wanting to vigorously bang my head against the vault wall from sheer boredom.  If someone asked me how to spell ‘relief,’ it would have nothing to do with r-o-l-a-i-d-s.  It’s more like e-j-e-c-t.

Here is the synopsis of the film.  You have three women who have been friends since high school.  They are not happy with their lives and each finds themselves getting walked on by either society or those close to them.  Becky (Parker Posey) happens to work for a senator of Texas.  The senator is in the running to fill the vacancy of Vice President of the United States.  Knowing she’ll need a squeaky-clean record to obtain the very high position, she sends Becky to watch over her daughter’s behavior on spring break at South Padre Island, Texas.  Becky’s very close friends, Gayle (Amy Poehler) and Judi (Rachel Dratch), decide to join her and make the most of week-long retreat.

Where there are college kids on break there is alcohol.  Where there is alcohol, there is this awful movie because those responsible for its creation must have been tanked when the cameras were rolling.  At one point I thought about smiling because one scene had the makings of humor.  Dashed on the jagged rocks below, the induced-laughter never materialized.  I did muster one honest, out-loud laugh late in the movie.  Outside of that, throw this thing in the chum bucket and feed it to the sharks.

Video 

The video proves to be an above-average display in 1080p.  The VC-1 encode does not reveal any distracting grain in the film’s quality.  It is actually quite appeasing to watch, film content aside.  The finer details are not picked up very well (sorry, pore whores), but detail in general is picked up well enough.  Some skin tones do seem to very from scene to scene which was an eyebrow-raiser at the time.  Lighting can have quite the significant effect on a scene, but why someone looked pale in one scene and orange-ish tan in the next left me scratching my head.  This was a first in my movie-watching experience; little to no grain, but chameleon skin.

Audio 

The audio is not going to knock you out of your chair, but that’s okay here.  Your sub-woofer is going to sit pretty quiet during the course of this film while the front and rear speakers are used in tandem.  There was a music track that played during one of the scenes that just didn’t sound up to snuff.  There was no telling if it was just not a crisp recording or lackluster delivery from the speakers.  Either way, audio perfection was not discovered here but a pretty good use of the sound system was.  Dialogue is released through the front speakers, music through the rear channels and sound effects were utilized in both areas.  All in all, it’s above average.

Special Features 

The extras on the main disc of Spring Breakdown (there is an accompanying disc that contains the digital copy as well) are close to running on fumes.  The footage comes to us in standard definition, unfortunately.

• Commentary by Director Ryan Shiraki and Writer Rachel Dratch
• Additional Footage – A 2-minute and 51-second montage of scenes not used in the final cut of the film.
• Gag Reel - This feature runs a hair over 2 minutes and contains the actors’ missed lines and goof-ups on the set.  It’s not as funny as it sounds here.
• BD Live

Final Thoughts 

It’s not all that often I find a film that isn’t even worthy of a rental.  Oh!  Here’s Spring Breakdown!  What a perfect anomaly for the moment.  This movie is not a chick flick.  It’s not a coming of age story.  It’s not even dumb humor.  It’s just devoid of substance and quality.  There is a lot of tongue-in-cheek dialogue and behavior but it is not funny.  I’m changing the title of the film to Mental Breakdown because it’s what I nearly experienced had the final credits rolled any later than they did.