I am not ashamed to admit that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was my most eagerly anticipated title on the Blu-ray format of 2009. So anxious was I that I even took the day off from my day job to kick back and fall in love all over again with my favorite thrill ride of the summer. I normally reserve judgment for the end of my reviews, but a few adjectives came to mind immediately after watching this Blu-ray presentation of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra such as amazing, magnificent, mind-blowing, stunning, breathtaking, bombastic and most importantly, beautiful. Yes, I am still talking about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. If you wanted a Blu-ray in 2009 to show off your home theater setup, then you found it here. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is the reason God created Blu-ray. So more importantly to some viewers and potential buyers, how’s the story? Let’s explore that question in some more detail, shall we?
Film 
Well I said I would not do it, but I did! I got my hopes up before seeing G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra in the theater this past summer. Was I disappointed? Heck no! I sat there like a carefree kid in a candy store waiting for the next trip down memory lane as I saw all the action figures of my childhood come to life before my eyes on the big screen. Although, who would have ever known that The Baroness and Scarlett would have ever looked so good brought to life? We’ll get to that in a moment.
So how was it is the burning with anticipation question that must be on everyone’s mind reading this review. Well let me rewind back a year and tell you about my fear, apprehension and heartburn I had towards this movie. Much like I felt about going into the first Transformers film, I feared that my childhood memories of the beloved G.I. Joe franchise would be destroyed by a live action motion picture take on the storylines. And much like the aftermath results of seeing the first Transformers film, my fears were quickly relinquished, as I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Sure G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is not going to take home any prestigious movie awards, but it never ambitiously sets out to do so. Instead, this film is going to represent your typical big summer blockbuster, which this summer was desperately in need of. And if you live in Ohio, we need all the summer we can get.
Let me just clear the air with one fear I am sure most people have, including myself originally. Those accelerator suits are not worn throughout the movie. Get over it! They are in one scene only. All right, you can now breathe a huge sigh of relief. I think besides the new black outfits, those accelerator suits were the one unanimous thing people frowned upon, after seeing the initial film trailers. And so we come to the black suits. I mean c’mon. Did you really expect Scarlett to run around fighting bad guys in a yellow and pastel blue jumpsuit? Most of you did not mind the changes made to the outfits in the X-Men films so don’t concern yourself too much with it in this film. Let’s just move on. It is, after all, the year 2009 and not 1983 anymore.
To help ease my fear of the film I purchased the official novel of the movie, before the film’s scheduled release, to read during my travel to Comic-Con this year. Finding time to read on a plane, for that trip, was not a problem at all. It’s a long story you don’t want to hear about. Anyway, I admit to not being the biggest fan of reading. Usually I read about 20 pages and then it is lights out. That was not the case with this book. After the first 20 pages of reading about Destro’s ancestors I found myself an hour later with over 100 pages of time invested and I was craving for more. The only time I can remember being this giddy about a book was when I was reading the Star Wars prequels before the films came out, a tradition most people find strange. People question why I read the movie novels before seeing the film and not after, like most normal peeps do. Wow! I do get off the subject fast don’t I? So anyways, it was upon finishing the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra novel up that I immediately realized that this film could actually be good. The book perfectly crafted an adult G.I. Joe universe with plenty of humor and action, memorable characters and a plot I cared about, unlike that of the second Transformers film. So let’s get to the good parts.
Already knowing that the book exceeded my expectations, I started feeling the way I promised myself I would not going into the film. I knew in my heart that if the movie was even half as good as the novel I just read that I had a serious contender here. The only problem now was the overwhelming hype brewing inside of me and knowing everything that was about to transpire before physically going into the screening. However, that did not stop me from having a good time and as I sit here writing this I can’t stop grinning about wanting to see this one again. There was plenty of spectacular balls off-the-wall action to behold, although mostly CGI induced, and just the right amount of comedic events mixed in to get the audience chuckling every so often courtesy of Marlon Wayans. The action seemed mostly surreal at times, almost like watching the film Ultraviolet, but not in a distracting way.
I think director Stephen Sommers capitalized on delivering a fun summer blockbuster movie voiding the audience of having to do any exhausting thinking. His sole intention seemed focused on having people (everyday Joe’s) enjoy themselves at the movies and I believe he accomplished that. After leaving the screening, no one in the audience looked or felt cheated out of their ticket prices. It helped me, having had read the novel, to know what was going on at all times, but even people who never experienced G.I. Joe before in their lives, like my wife, understood exactly what had just transpired on the screen. And best of all…she was willing to also go back and experience it over again! So I guess what I am trying to say is don’t buy into that entire negative buzz campaign which surrounded the film many months before its theatrical release. Stephen Sommers never got fired and was never asked to leave the editing room. If anything, I believe all that press attention, as negative as it may have been, really could have been nothing more than a publicity stunt or marketing ploy to stir up interest in the film. I know it sure worked for me. I sat there wide-eyed reading all those horrible stories and in disbelief as there was hardly a peep about the movie at this year’s Comic-Con, an event I thought for sure Paramount would have taken the opportunity to capitalize on for this film. I was dead wrong in my thoughts. But as I drove home from my first viewing at the theater and my thoughts started to wander, as they often do, I realized you know what…Paramount did not need to spend any extra money promoting this film, the name sold this product a long time ago and it is what it is.
Now let’s get to the good stuff. Let’s see…there was The Baroness, the actress who played The Baroness and the black outfits that The Baroness wore. Did I tell you about The Baroness? I am just kidding of course. I can spend an exuberant amount of time telling you everything I liked about this film so I will just stick with the highlights for me. First off, if you could not tell, I was a huge fan of Sienna Miller’s portrayal of The Baroness. That’s what got me in there in the first place. All right, I am lying again. The name of the product and the fond childhood memories of playing with the action figures in my youth sold me a long time ago. Second, I was really nervous for her, but my girl Rachel Nichols really pulled off her role as Scarlett and also fit into her outfits very well. Marlon Wayans added the comedic relief, sort of like C-3P0 to Channing Tatum’s R2D2-like seriousness. If he was not born for this role, then I don’t know who was, as Dennis Quaid pulled off a very convincing General Hawk. His demeanor and looks fit that role to a tee. I don’t even think he had to try and act. Of course, you can never go wrong with the brilliant minds behind Destro and Zartan, Christopher Eccleston and Arnold Vosloo.
So I went over some of the goods, but how about some of the not so goods? Oh sure there are plenty, but I will just pick several to talk about so instead of wasting your time reading this review when you could be out there already seeing this film! First off, I had a beef with Snake Eyes and that ridiculous mask he wore, most notably the lips on it. I really wish they had consulted with me before. I was never sold on Snake Eyes’ backstory in the film, about why he was mute. I believe there to be problems and holes with that origin story that could have been better explained by a war injury, in my opinion. And what is with Storm Shadow’s winter parka outfit? This bugged me from the beginning of the film’s production years ago all the way to now. They could not have found a cooler way to make a white ninja outfit? Of course, this is just nitpicking on my account. All of the CGI effects were rendered splendid except the ice caps inside the Cobra’s Arctic base, but again this is very minor squabbling. I also want to challenge Channing Tatum to step up in his role as Duke in the next film and work on delivering his lines with more conviction. After viewing, I am sure you will see why I am faulting his performance a bit. Last but not least, was the feeling that there was two minor deviations from the book that I feel should not have been changed and/or left out. One of them was brought to the attention of my wife who later asked me how did this happen and I had to explain to her that a major dialogue scene was missing from the movie that was in the book and ironically, it was in the trailers for the film, but cut from the theatrical release. That ladies and gentleman, is pretty much the only heartburn I experienced with the film. That was not so bad was it?
Video 
Did you ever expect less than a perfect A/V presentation from Paramount? I sure hope not. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hits the Blu-ray format running with a perfect 1080P AVC video presentation and an aspect ratio of 2.40:1. I am pretty picky with my critiques so rest assured when I say perfect I mean pristine. I could not find a fault with the video transfer no matter how hard I tried. The colors were all lifelike and vivid, the black levels were solid throughout, dark scenes did not fall apart, grain was minimal, skin tones were accurate and best of all, the presentation was razor sharp, just like the katana blades of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. How can you top that? The answer is quite simply, you cannot. This is the video presentation of what Blu-ray dreams are made of!
Audio
What more can I say that I already did not mention in the video section? Oh yeah, you probably want to know about the audio, huh? Well, I am ecstatic to report that like the video presentation, the audio is a grandiose shot of pure adrenaline rushing through bloodstream. If the audio does not put you dead center in the middle of this film’s action, then nothing ever will. I remember being emotional stirred by not only the film’s iconographic video presentation, but also the musical score and surround effects in my initial theater outing, and the Blu-ray’s 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio surround track faithfully recreates that experience. It’s that perfect! From the roar of the jets to the minuscule zing of the bullets flying by you, you will feel it all. And let’s not forget about the music of G.I. Joe. The thunderous thumping and driving force of the musical score will keep the film’s pace moving at all-time high levels of energy and entertainment throughout. My only complaint with the film has always been its low dialog levels, but that’s the way it was in the theater. I should know I saw it three times before. So I can’t really fault the Blu-ray presentation for faithfully capturing the theatrical actuality. Just like the video presentation, the audio of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is demo reference quality. Your speakers will thank you for the intense workout they have been much in need of in 2009.
Special Features 
If there were one weak link in the G.I. Joe Blu-ray package it would be in the special features department. The 2-disc set contains the movie and commentary on one Blu-ray disc and a small handful of extras on the second disc, which I am ashamed to admit, is a DVD. The best part of the special features is the very informative commentary track with Director Stephen Sommers and Producer/Editor Bob Ducsay. If you are a fan of the film, then you will love the commentary track. Unless I am reviewing, I never listen to a commentary track. This one however, had my ears on edge as I learned so much about the production of the film. When I was done with the commentary track, I did not even feel like I needed a generic behind-the-scenes featurette visually documenting the film. I learned all I could ever want to know from the two gentlemen. The second DVD disc contains a Standard Definition (obviously) 30-minute documentary called The Big Bang Theory: The Making of G.I. Joe, which takes a look at how the early 1980′s era of G.I. Joe influenced the creation of this eventual film. The next featurette, called Next-Gen Action: The Amazing Visual FX and Design of G.I. Joe, takes a 21-minute look at the film’s visual effects that brought life to the finished product. Last but not least, the DVD also contains a digital copy of the film playable on most iPod devices and more.
Final Thoughts
So in essence, what we have here is not a failure to communicate, but rather a fun filled explosively good time at the cinema, a perfect way to escape the upcoming cold weather. So regardless of what you heard in the news and media, you owe to yourself to go and check out G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Blu-ray today. Why not! I can’t think of a more perfect way for the adults, really the kid in all of us, to rediscover the magic and appeal of G.I. Joe all over again, and to be able to share it with your offspring now. Who said the magic of the 1980′s was dead? It’s still alive in the hearts of all us thirty-something year old fans and now it is forever immortalized on the Blu-ray format. Want a no strings attached thrill ride that every A/V enthusiast should not be without? Then look no further than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the blockbuster big-budget family action film that was sorely missing from this summer’s movie lineup. Harry Potter who? And did I mention Sienna Miller is The Baroness? I’ve never had so much fun at the movies before. All right already, I will shut up. Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed my review of the Paramount’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Blu-ray release. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below. I look forward to receiving any and all feedback from my readers.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was released on Blu-ray November 3, 2009. If you like what you read in the review above, then please show your support for our site by clicking the shopping cart link above to order and save with Amazon’s Everyday Lowest Prices. Thanks!
Great Review. I plan on running out and getting a few copies for our showroom floor. When Brian White make a recomendation he is dead accurate!
Thanks Bob! I appreciate the confidence you place in me. This is definitely one for the sales floor! Hope to see it on in there my next trip up to B&B.
I really did not like the movie, and have to strenuously disagree over the quality of the special effects. IMO, the special effects were some of the worst I’d seen in years. With summer blockbusters you expect a juvenile plot, bad dialogue, and miniscule character arcs but you also expect good special effects and action sequences. For me, those were major let downs and the “finale” was terrible with a level of disinterest for any level of realism that it became laughable bad.
While I respect that everyone has a right to their opinion, I wanted to provide another perspective for anyone approaching this title blind.
Kyle…please provide your examples of bad special effects. When I think of bad I think of this past summer’s Wolverine so I kind of want to know what you are referring to?
See I thought the ending (other then the jail scene) was perfect and set the franchise up also perfectly. What did you not like about it…besides the “my army” crack? The way the movie ended I thought was brilliant. It made me want to know what would happen next, although that all hinges on how much you like the rest of the film of course.
I agree…I was extremely generous with my film score, but this film really won me over in the theaters and also again on Blu-ray. It’s the fun factor that counts on this one for me. Plus Sienna and Rachel are pretty easy on the eyes too
The scene involving the motorcycle chase with Scarlet had terrible special effects, anytime they showed her on the bike it was just bad. Also, any of the aircraft throughout the film looked bad to me as well.
I couldn’t stand the last scene(or the opening action sequence, for that matter) because of the general idiocy upon which it was based.
Ice floats!!! If I doesn’t float, then how does his station stay in place instead of sinking? If he’s blown up the surface how can they ride the elevator still…surely it would have cracked from the shockwave of the explosion or at the very least be disconnected from the surface. But what really pisses me off is that it could have been much more suspenseful if they had crushing bulkheads and rushing water.
Some may say that I’m taking it too seriously, but this isn’t rocket science. It’s very basic physics that most of the target audience(8 year olds or there about) would understand.
Yeah I hear your point, but again…we are talking about a Stephen Sommers movie. He produces for two things…fun and action! I felt it was just the perfect mindless summer action that my body needed at the time (this past August). The same could be said about Transformers 2, but that’s a whole other story I care not to even go into. The bike scene did not bother me too much, but the airplane scenes you are referring to did a bit. Actually, in the commentary track, Stephen Sommers points out that he was unhappy about the finished airplane shots especially over the desert and how fake they looked. He said it was due to budget and time constraints they were under that they were never rendered and finished properly to his liking. That’s ashame